human interest

A bull named Party Bus escaped the ring during a rodeo in Oregon, hopping the fence and charging into the crowd where it injured three people. What do you think?“Damn. My parlay needed it to injure four.”Madihah Holden, Charity AdvocateDay…

SARASOTA, FL—As the sudden appearance of his ancestors drew the bird several feet closer to the Boeing 747’s turbine, local goose Chester Hanson was reportedly comforted Tuesday by visions of his long-dead relatives beckoning him into a jet…

Caitlin Clark, who rose to fame while playing basketball at the University of Iowa, recently became embroiled in controversy during her WNBA debut for the Indiana Fever. The Onion interviewed Clark about her basketball career, her $21…

WAUKESHA, WI—Describing the release as a breathtaking glimpse of the four-piece working together at their very best, indie rock act Order of Magnitude’s latest album was reportedly touted as their “finest work yet” in a statement penned by…

INDIANAPOLIS—Saying he was deeply sorry about any pain his recent remarks about WNBA star Caitlin Clark might have caused, sports commentator Pat McAfee announced Tuesday that he would make a donation to a charity that helps white bitches.…

WASHINGTON—Saying they couldn’t remember exactly why they’d written off the talented, charismatic, and attractive celebrity, 340 million Americans confessed to reporters Tuesday that they had forgotten what it was they didn’t like about the…

SAN DIEGO—Trying to get her children’s attention as they played with their friends, a visibly frustrated local gorilla mother reportedly spent Monday constantly reminding her children to slouch. “How many times do I have to tell you to…

NEW YORK—Baffled by the woman’s sway over her millions of acolytes, sources confirmed Monday that local cult leader Taylor Swift, 34, was not even charismatic. “Typically, the cult leaders I study are highly persuasive individuals with…

Two Chinese giant pandas, Bao Li and Qing Bao, are set to arrive in at the Smithsonian’s National Zoo in D.C. later this year, a result of a new agreement signed with the China Wildlife Conservation Association and the latest trade in…

Two Chinese giant pandas, Bao Li and Qing Bao, are set to arrive in at the Smithsonian’s National Zoo in D.C. later this year, a result of a new agreement signed with the China Wildlife Conservation Association and the latest trade in…