human interest

WASHINGTON—Casting blame on his wife for the controversial flag that flew outside his home, Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito told reporters Thursday that he tried to take it down, but Martha-Ann Alito, 70, hit him, and she hits him “every…

A new Louisiana law will criminalize going within 25 feet of any police officer “engaged in law enforcement duties” if an order is issued to stand back, with opponents of the law saying that the measure will hinder the public’s ability to…

WASHINGTON—As part of a new nationwide etiquette initiative, a dialect coach was reportedly hired Wednesday to class up the American public before its big date with a wealthy man. “Enunciate! For God’s sake, enunciate!” barked the elocution…

HACKENSACK, NJ—Shrugging her shoulders in a dismissive manner, local mom Dina Marchesi reported Tuesday that she had no memory of telling her daughter she looked “like a streetwalker” right before her eighth-grade dance. “Come on, that…

HELENA, MT—In an effort to raise awareness of any and all potential catastrophes, your parents reportedly called Tuesday to make sure you thought of every possible thing that could go wrong in life. “Hey there, sweetie, just checking in to…

A man who had a grand mal seizure while on a Royal Caribbean cruise was forced to pay a $2,500 bill before being evacuated to receive emergency treatment, saying that as he was put on a stretcher to be lowered onto a rescue boat, a cruise…

AUSTIN, TX—Frowning as she inspected the unexpectedly high bill, local diner Sonia Wirtz was reportedly informed Thursday by staff at the restaurant Dahlias that her check included a 3% surcharge to provide the owner’s sugar baby with a…

PALM BEACH, FL—Nervously standing on the porch with a duffel bag slung over his shoulder, Barron Trump reportedly showed up on former President Donald Trump’s doorstep Thursday claiming to be his son. “Excuse me, sir, I’m sorry to bother…

Elvis Presley’s granddaughter Riley Keough, who owns the Graceland estate, successfully blocked the auction of Elvis’s former home by the company Naussany Investments, which may have fraudulently initiated the foreclosure by claiming that…

TOLEDO, OH—Emphasizing that of all the options this was by far the cheapest, local vet James Easton charged a customer $6,000 Wednesday to hand over a gun and say, “You know what you have to do.” “I’m sorry about your dog, but this will be…