humaninterest

The Wyoming Republican Party is criticizing a bill that seeks to implement a minimum age requirement for marriage, saying in an email to members that the proposed law denies “the fundamental purpose of marriage” as well as “parental…

ITHACA, NY—Shedding new light on the vanished reptiles that once dominated the planet, paleontologists at Cornell University told reporters Thursday they had discovered evidence that suggested dinosaurs would have driven themselves to…

Yeah, look in the fucking mirror, buddy. Everything good you believe about yourself, every last lie you tell yourself to get out of bed in the morning, it’s all horseshit. You’re dirt. You’re nothing. You built your castle on sand and now…

On Feb. 3, trains carrying toxic chemicals including butyl acrylate and vinyl chloride derailed in East Palestine, OH,leading to a chain of events that have been scrutinized for their impact on theenvironment and local residents. The Onion…

WASHINGTON—In an effort to offer the American people full transparency, Defense Department officials confirmed Monday that the unidentified flying objects shot down by the military were just regular planes, and the nation had just been…

To help you avoid coming off like a desperate or insensitive fucking creep, The Onion provides this handy guide to the things you should never say to a strip club performer.Advertisement“Can you turn down the music while I call my…

EUGENE, OR—Unsure how to break it to him that they didn’t exist, sources in the head of local man Marshall Horbol confirmed Monday that no one had the heart to tell the 32-year-old they were all merely figments of his untethered mind. “I’m…

A couple rushing to catch a flight abandoned their baby at an airport check-in deskin Tel Aviv after being told they would need to buy a separate ticket for the child. What do you think?“Well, at least this means the other passengers got…

GLENDALE, AZ—Mumbling as he spoke and attempting to brush a strand of hair behind his ear, a shy Andy Reid reportedly asked the Philadelphia Eagles Sunday if they remembered him. “Hi, my name is Andy, do you remember?” said the Kansas City…

If you’ve ever had the misfortune of being acquainted with a die-hard Philadelphia Eagles fan, then you know that it is highly inadvisable to say any of the following things.Advertisement2 / 20“Stop, you’re destroying my store!”List…