humaninterest

DORADO, PUERTO RICO—Vowing to put the animal in her place “once and for all,” internet personality and professional wrestler Logan Paul publicly challenged his former pet pig Pearl to a boxing match on Friday. “I heard you’ve been oinking a…

I have a story and it is very important and I know it is important because the bookman came to me and said Prince Harry (who is me) you have a very important story and you will make loads of money if you tell it to everyone and I said okay…

SAN RAMON, CA—Observing that it was somehow on him every time to roll over and nudge his owner’s hand with his snout, local canine Peanut reportedly expressed concern Thursday that he was always the one to initiate petting. “I know I…

From the Jean Teasdale email cyber-compu-bag: “Hey Jean, is Hubby Rick still alive?” Why, thanks for asking, Greg! Also, thanks to Anthony and Darci for the same question, as well as Mitch, Dale, Naomi, Chris, Jo, and Baptiste! The answer,…

With the significant increase in deceptive activity online, The Onion provides a handy guide to determine if someone is catfishing you.AdvertisementThey’re Hesitant To Share PhotosList slidesThey’re Hesitant To Share PhotosSure, they might…

DOTHAN, AL—Offering accolades for the homemade puke it grew up eating, a local barn swallow told reporters Friday that its mother made the best vomit in the world. “I know everyone says this, but no one can regurgitate like my mom does,”…

No amount of rent reduction is worth sharing an apartment with someone like you. Here are telltale signs your roommate actually hates you.Advertisement2 / 21​Has Locks Changed Every Time You Leave For WorkList slides​Has Locks Changed Every…

Health experts have raised the alarm about the fast-spreading coronavirus variant XBB1.5, which could drive a new surge of cases. The Onion tells you everything you need to know about covid XBB1.5.Q: How does XBB1.5 differ from earlier…

BOSTON—Putting his headphones over his ears and taking a deep breath, local man Dalton Griffith was reportedly listening to his pump-up playlist at the gym Friday to get the courage to take off his shirt in the locker room. “I got this,”…

LOS ANGELES—Saying it seemed like something he was supposed to do given his level of income and public renown, local celebrity Chris Hemsworth was reportedly thinking Friday about getting his pilot’s license. “I was just wondering what I…