humansexuality

AUSTIN, TX—In an effort to provide students with everything they need to know about sexual development, sexual intercourse, and pregnancy, an updated sex ed curriculum instituted Wednesday across Texas instructed children how to stone…

Concertgoers say an attendee at a Los Angeles Philharmonic performance this past week reportedly had what one witness called “a loud and full-body orgasm” during Tchaikovsky’s Symphony No. 5. What do you think?“I hate when shows try to sh…

RICHTON, MS—After being reminded of the district’s zero-tolerance policy, chaperones for the Richton High School prom were reportedly instructed Friday to turn away any students who showed up to the dance with pussy on their breath. “Be on…

PALO ALTO, CA—Warning of the potentially explicit applications of a tool that has become widely available to the public, tech experts reported feeling unsettled Tuesday by a felt-tip marker’s ability to draw two big breast-like circles with…

WASHINGTON—In an announcement that drew enthusiastic applause from the influencers and supporters in attendance, audience members at the Conservative Political Action Conference were reportedly encouraged Thursday to reach under their…

Start SlideshowMaking love can often be far more dangerous than expected. The Onion examines sex-related injuries that could send you to the hospital.AdvertisementPrevious SlideNext SlideJoining The Mile High Club And The Plane…

Experts say that a nearly 2,000-year-old wooden, penis-shaped object that was recently discovered in England could have served as a sexual tool by ancient Romans in Britain. What do you think?“We’re closer than ever to confirming that…

NEW YORK—Walking back his previous comments that Republican presidential hopeful Nikki Haley was past her “prime,” an apologetic Don Lemon clarified to reporters Tuesday that a woman’s relevance was not defined by age, but by conventional…

The task of reporting is not a simple one. Each and every day, reporters and editors at publications like The Onion make difficult decisions about which issues should receive attention, knowing that our coverage will influence not only how…

In the wake of Republicans across the country passing legislation to ban the performances, The Onion asked conservatives why they oppose drag shows and this is what they said.Advertisement2 / 24Frank Jones, PastorList slidesFrank Jones,…