hyperloop

CHIHUAHUAN DESERT, TX—Tearing through the desert wasteland with a fleet of self-driving Tesla Model 3s in pursuit, a mechanical-armed Grimes reportedly fled Elon Musk’s compound Friday with five of the tech leader’s wives in the back of a…

BOCA CHICA, TX—Accusing the billionaire tech mogul of dragging down property values, neighbors of Elon Musk told reporters Thursday they were fed up with his eyesore yard covered in broken-down Cybertrucks. “I don’t know if the guy who…

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MURFREESBORO, TN—In an effort to put his mind to rest after seeing the billionaire entrepreneur say sorry for an antisemitic tweet, local nazi Phil Behrens told reporters Thursday that he hoped Elon Musk’s apology was as disingenuous as it…

Aside from killing monkeys and destroying Twitter, Elon Musk has also had his sights set on something else: building Tesla’s futuristic Cybertruck. The Onion asked Musk’s fans why they want to spend tens of thousands of dollars on a Blade…

BOCA CHICA, TX—Denying reports that the specimens had all died excruciating and painful deaths, Elon Musk told reporters this week that the women he had impregnated over the years had all been terminally ill. “While many claim these test…

Start SlideshowEdgelords, known for their contrarian viewpoints, for some reason think it’s edgy to idolize a washed-up billionaire who spends his entire day shitposting. The Onion asked edgelords why they love Elon Musk, and this is what…

Ex-pro kickboxer Andrew Tate, who is currently under house arrest after being criminally charged with rape and human trafficking, has offered to train Elon Musk to fight Mark Zuckerberg after the two billionaires this week agreed to a cage…

Twitter owner Elon Musk announced that certain words used to identify non-transgender people, like “cis” and “cisgender,” are now “considered slurs.” What do you think?“I shudder to think anybody would ever use a slur on Twitter.”Jenna…