Internet

Twitter To Improve User Experience By Requiring Every Tweet Be Accompanied By A Picture Of A Puppy Twitter is making yet another change to try to improve the user experience. One of the biggest complaints about Twitter is all the toxicity…

MENLO PARK, CA—Declaring the problem to be a "national emergency," Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg ordered the construction of a looming firewall along the borders of Facebook to prevent Google Plus refugees from getting in. A caravan of…

CAMBRIDGE, MA—A groundbreaking peer-reviewed study published today in the journal Social Media Research found that statements made with a clapping hand emoji placed between each word are impossible to refute. While the study revealed that…

U.S.—The American Medical Association called a special press conference Friday to remind the nation about the dangers of drinking while browsing Amazon. "Every day, thousands of people drink too much alcohol and then attempt to navigate to…

Report: There Are Still Incorrect Opinions On The Internet Despite Local Man's Best Efforts UPLAND, CA—According to sources, there are still plenty of incorrect opinions on the internet despite local man Dan Mercer's best efforts to correct…

YouTube Warns Parents That Some Users Are Sneaking Joel Osteen Footage Into Harmless Kids' Videos SAN BRUNO, CA—In the midst of a scare over the "Momo challenge" hoax that's sweeping the internet once again, YouTube has warned parents that…

HELL—The hottest circle of hell, usually reserved for Nazis, mass murderers, and serial killers, is now reserved for people who share Minion memes on the internet, sources from the underworld confirmed Monday. The punitive measure is…

MENLO PARK, CA—In an announcement Monday, Facebook confirmed the social network is replacing its usual selection of reaction buttons with just one button that lets you express pure, unbridled outrage. Spokespeople said users typically just…

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Local mother Tiffany Johnson confirmed Wednesday that she immediately regretted asking for parenting advice on Facebook after her newborn baby developed a cough. The woman requesting advice for treating a sick infant was…

U.S.—Abortion provider Planned Parenthood's website appears to be down, with the page simply displaying a 666 error to anyone who tries to view it. The error is shown alongside a message indicating that unusually high levels of demonic…