Internet

WASHINGTON, D.C.—During his much-publicized appearance before a bipartisan Senate committee Tuesday, the false, humanlike contact lens Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg had placed over his left eye accidentally fell out, revealing the…

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Kicking off his Senate hearing with a prepared statement Tuesday, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg ominously reminded everyone present that he is intimately familiar with all of their deepest thoughts, hopes, and fears. “This…

MENLO PARK, CA—According to sources from within Facebook headquarters, interns and staffers at the social network were training Mark Zuckerberg on how to act human ahead of his expected congressional testimony this week. The team of…

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—While Christians have often complained of bias in the selection of which days Google honors with its “Google Doodles,” believers around the country were reportedly ecstatic to find that the search and advertising giant…

EDISON, NJ—Approximately four seconds after browsing the comment section on a comedic YouTube parody video featuring political pundit Alex Jones achieving Super Saiyan form during a rant about Barack Obama, local man Matthew Medford…

As the nation continues to grow more and more polarized, we find ourselves encountering worldviews diametrically opposed to our own day in and day out, especially on the internet. How do we effectively engage with those viewpoints? We took…

ATHENS, OH—After learning of recent abuses of data by the social media giant, local man David Anderson reportedly attempted to close his account with Facebook, only to be greeted by a menacing depiction of Mark Zuckerberg on his computer…

MENLO PARK, CA—Finally emerging after days of silence following the revelation that millions of Facebook accounts had their data underhandedly exploited for political purposes, CEO Mark Zuckerberg vowed to do better at hiding such shady…

RICHMOND, VA—According to sources close to local man Chris Wellings, the man who writes “I hate to be that guy” before each of his Facebook comments and Twitter replies in fact loves to be that guy. Although he specifically states how much…

MENLO PARK, CA—In the midst of a scandal involving the unauthorized transfer of its users’ data for political purposes, Facebook proudly unveiled a brand new, giant Lidless Eye of Sauron atop the company’s Menlo Park headquarters. The Eye…