Internet

MENLO PARK, CA—Responding to the recent data-hijacking scandal which has its stock price plummeting and lawmakers demanding an explanation, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg reminded everyone in a Facebook Live video Tuesday that the tech…

NEW YORK, NY—In what was rumored to be a multi-million-dollar deal, popular clickbait website BuzzFeed has purchased The Gospel Coalition, journalists learned Wednesday. TGC had reportedly been restructuring and refocusing its content for…

MENLO PARK, CA—Facebook, Inc. sent a personal message Friday to each publisher using its service, warmly reminding them that they are utterly dependent on the social media giant for traffic and that it is in complete control of their…

PORTLAND, ME—Moments after posting on his social media accounts that he was resolving to refrain from arguing on the internet anymore, local man Will Peters was reportedly drawn into a knock-down, drag-out fight in the comments of his…

U.S.—Despite offering thousands of thoughts and prayers to the victims of Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s latest flurry of moronic tweets, the nation’s religious people admitted at long last that their petitions were totally ineffective at…

BOSTON, MA—After he was triggered by a recent article posted by a site he follows and proceeded to rant in the comment section for the next four hours, local Facebook user Dennis Cramer suddenly stumbled upon a strange, previously…

BOSTON, MA—Noted discernment blogger and podcaster Jacob Lowe stumbled upon a blog post originally published several months ago and condemned it as “rank heresy,” without realizing he had written the post himself, sources confirmed…

MENLO PARK, CA—In a major update to Facebook’s news feed, CEO Mark Zuckerberg has confirmed that the social network will now require a ritual blood sacrifice before any followers will see anything posted by your business, church, or…

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—In a move to combat the spread of dangerous worldviews that disagree with those of Google executives and employees, the tech behemoth has announced a new feature in its search engine: an ‘approved worldview checker’ to…

MENLO PARK, CA—In a moment of mercy and graciousness, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg kindly allowed up to three whole people to see a post by a conservative news site, sources close to the tech guru said Thursday. An automated alert…