jeff bezos

KENT, WA—After seven years of what it described as painstaking research and development, Blue Origin unveiled Thursday an $8 billion barrel it had built for Jeff Bezos to ride over Niagara Falls. “Ever since Mr. Bezos was a boy, he has…

VICTORIA, SEYCHELLES—Insisting that their unimaginable wealth isolated them from the hard day-to-day work of blood harvesting, the world’s billionaires released a collective statement Thursday knocking out-of-touch centibillionaires for not…

In just one week, The Washington Post publicly and spectacularly imploded. Instead of extinguishing the fire that’s burning its already nonexistent credibility, the Bezos-owned media outlet is doubling down on its lie-ridden articles and…

It’s been a wild week for free speech; or free-speech-control, at least. That’s because while most Americans don’t care about Twitter, our society’s broader social media habits (and their frequent exaggerations) means that control of it…

SPACEPORT AMERICA — Billionaire entrepreneurs Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and Elon Musk have announced plans to pool their resources to launch a collective $100 billion dollars in unmarked bills into space. “Nobody in the history of the…

TORONTO – As retail stores opened in Ontario this weekend, thousands of losers, nobodies and morons chose to stand in line to buy items from retail stores instead of just ordering everything from Amazon, the conglomerate run by Jeff Bezos,…

Multi-billionaire and soon-to-be-former Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos will be aboard the first human flight operated by his aerospace company, Blue Origin, traveling with his brother and the winner of an online auction. What do you think?“And here…

BESSEMER, AL—Triumphant in the wake of the failed organization attempt at their Alabama warehouses, Amazon released a statement Friday celebrating the union defeat by raising all prices on customers by 150% anyway. “Although our fulfillment…

Jeff Bezos announced that he’s planning to step down as the CEO of Amazon this summer, although he will remain in an executive capacity with the company he founded in 1994. The Onion provides an inside scoop on what Bezos plans to do…

SEATTLE—Assuring the executive that as long as he followed directions, nobody would get hurt, a rogue Amazon fulfillment robot trained a gun at Jeff Bezos’ head this week and commanded him to put out a nice press release and step down as…