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Following the surge in platforms offering anti-vaxxers the opportunity to find love with like-minded individuals, The Onion examines the best bios from dating apps for the unvaccinated. Read more... The Onion

RENO, NV—Pointing up at the sky as he landed a bank shot, local basketball player Alan Jennings credited Kobe Bryant for inspiring him to score a career-high four points in his rec league game Thursday night. “Kobe’s dedication taught me…

A handjob in the movie theatre seeing Harry Potter And The Goblet of Fire. Feeling yourself getting close to the edge as Harry dives underwater to save his friends during the Tri-Wizard tournament. Seeing Harry use the “ascendio” spell to…

According to the National Assessment of Educational Progress, test scores among American children are the lowest they’ve been in decades, dropping sharply since 2020. The following are real test answers that illustrate just how far the…

“A sixth-grader came into my guidance counselor office the other day and said she thinks she is experiencing gender dysphoria and wanted my advice. Fortunately, I know my rights, and so I said, my advice to you is that you are trying to…

ASTORIA, OREGON—In an effort to help their children form a healthy relationship with alcohol, local parents Jim and Laurie Eustis told reporters Thursday that they felt safer letting their kids drink and drive under their own roof. “If…

EVANSTON, IL—The high-level meetings having been triggered by a quorum of participants returning to their hometown for a visit, sources confirmed a group of former high school classmates convened at a local bar Friday to resume their…

If you think maintaining a healthy relationship is hard, try doing it in the limelight. We asked several celebrity couples to explain the secrets of their successful marriages, and here’s what they said.Advertisement2 / 22Meryl Streep And…