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John Fetterman

Senators Reveal Best Places To Have Sex In Capitol

“Well… Oh God, I can’t do this. Rosario, if you’re seeing this, I miss you so much. Give me another chance—I’ll do better. I’ll take my pants all the way off when we make love, rather than pulling them up even higher. We don’t have to eat…

Every Biden 2024 Scenario Is Deadly Dangerous

It should have sunk in a lot sooner with the public just how truly fraught and uncharted the territory is that we’re lurching toward in 2024. Not a single set of current circumstances spells calm and normal. It’s the opposite. They’re all…

The Senators Have No Clothes

Like so many other American institutions that have “relaxed” — or fully jettisoned — basic standards for the lowest common denominator, the U.S. Senate will effectively adopt a new minimum dress code of hoodies and gym shorts to accommodate…

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