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Mom Licking Usher’s Abs On TV Screen

LAWRENCE, KS—Unable to control herself while watching the R&B star perform during the Super Bowl LVIII halftime show, local mom Kathy Deacon got up from her couch and licked Usher’s abs on her TV screen, sources reported Sunday. “Oh…

Dog Urged To Pay Attention While Dog On TV

GLEN ELLYN, IL—Gesturing excitedly at the screen while the ambivalent canine lay beside him, local man John Eggert urged his dog Monday to pay attention while a dog was on TV. “Look, look, Pickles—that dog looks just like you,” Eggert said…

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