Life

Republican Rep. Chip Roy of Texas, with the support of 25 Republican cosponsors, reintroduced legislation on Tuesday that seeks to prevent the political prosecution of peaceful pro-lifers by repealing the Freedom of Access to Clinic…

POOLER, GA — According to sources, local wife Melissa Cross is waiting patiently for her husband, Jason, to turn off the reading light on his nightstand and plunge the bedroom into a quiet darkness before she finally unloads her deepest…

U.S. — After surveying tens of thousands of men, researchers at the University of Boston have concluded that the deepest desire of every man is to have an enormous map with little soldiers and tanks on it that they can move around with…

NASSAU, DE — After cuddling with her husband in front of a roaring fire and getting Christmas decorations put away over the weekend, local wife Jennifer Rushford realized she had nothing left to be stressed out about — and that stressed her…

CINCINNATI, OH — A pristine boxed set of J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy looked on in horror recently as their owner, Ambrose Franklin, sat down to binge-watch the movies for the 25th time.The mint-condition set of books, which…

GOTHAM CITY — Batman has officially traded in the Batmobile for a Tesla Cybertruck.After watching several videos displaying the Cybertruck's incredible power and unmatched durability, Batman decided it was time for an upgrade."Oh yeah, this…

FLINT, MI — Local man Keith Peters was sentenced today to six years in prison for failing to properly use a stud finder by first pointing it at himself and saying, "BEEEEEEEEP!"According to witnesses, Peters was just getting around to…

FRANKLIN, TN — Only a few hours after dismissing his wife's favorite show as "dumb," local man Paul Stanton found himself on the couch, watching the show, and enraged by Rory Gilmore's tolerance of unsuitable romantic interests.Paul…

Most weeks, the last thing we think we need is to add another event to the calendar, especially an event that requires a gift and possibly our help supplying the refreshments. Yet when the bulletin announcement appears or the email…

ALBUQUERQUE, NM — A local man paused for a moment today to catch his own gaze in the mirror and reflect on what he had become after spending $2.58 on gems in a mobile app game."What have I become? Is this who I am now?" Tim Warner asked…