Life

MORRISTOWN, NY — A teenage male identified as William Beauregard expressed gratitude to his parents Thursday for the love and support he received during his period of gender confusion before promptly asking that his testicles be…

DEARBORN, MI — According to neighbors, local wife and mother Helena Kenti has reportedly begged her husband Peter, who is currently going through a midlife crisis, to "please" get rid of the Greek trireme docked in their driveway and…

BEND, OR — After discussing preferred pronouns during a routine medical exam, a doctor then asked for his patient's actual gender because they had no idea what they were looking at."It says on your chart that your preferred pronouns are…

Now that the Biden administration has made sure to raise awareness of Trans Day of Visibility, it's time for attention to be turned to other forgotten, tragically unnoticed groups of people in desperate need of their own days of…

POMONA, CA — In spite of the life he's built — a loving family and successful career — local man Desmond Carter still daydreams about the glory days of playing video games at the demo kiosk while his mom shopped."I've never been able to…

CRAIGSVILLE, VA — According to sources, a local man has cooked his food in a microwave and allowed the timer to count all the way down to zero. Locals reported being disturbed by this clearly psychopathic behavior.Though the town's…

As you may have seen in the news recently, there are some states that actually have laws that make it illegal for you to attempt to evict squatters living in your home. No one wants to run afoul of the law, so it's worth considering what…

MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Just in time for spring, neighborhood kids were seen playing the classic game of "Smear The Oppressive Patriarchal Colonialists Who Perpetuate Cis-Whitness And Literal Violence Against Indigenous People Groups And The…

HENDERSONVILLE, TN — A local 40-year-old man was forced to put his fitness aspirations on hold indefinitely today after he pulled his hamstring while thinking about going for a run.The incident reportedly occurred as the man sat motionless…

U.S. — A man flying for the first time in first class was caught off-guard this week after the flight attendant handed him a warm, wet, lemon-scented washcloth and did his best to pretend he knew just what to do with it."Ummmm. Ok. Ok. Stay…