Life

ANAHEIM, CA — The owner of a local Chinese restaurant announced his retirement today, expressing his desire to step away from the daily grind and take the opportunity to spend far less time with his family.Li Jun Chao, the founder of Yum…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A dedicated mall enthusiast was left severely disappointed this week after a long-awaited trip to the National Mall failed to live up to expectations, with the visitor shocked to discover the lack of any of his favorite…

KNOXVILLE, TN — Local men Dave Harding and Tyler Daniels, while hard at work helping their friends move furniture out of their apartment, have just announced unprompted that the couch isn't heavy at all, it's just an awkward shape."Yeah,…

FAIRFIELD, TX — In a touching scene, local dog "Tex" was overcome with joy after being reunited at last with his owner Tom, who had briefly walked outside to check the mail."Tex hasn't been this happy since the last time Tom checked the…

CONWAY, AR — Local man Dirk Chonkleton has expressed frustration at what he describes as a concerning trend occurring in his local town, claiming, with deep aggravation, that anti-gun protestors show up every time he leaves his home wearing…

Plus-size Victoria’s Secret model and self-proclaimed “self-love coach” Ali Tate Cutler went viral on TikTok recently for posting a disturbing series of videos in which she documented the upcoming assisted suicide of her seemingly healthy…

DENVER, CO — Local man Dave Johnson has long suffered from the fear that everyone will one day realize he's not really qualified for his job. As it turns out, those fears were totally justified as Mr. Johnson is completely awful at his job…

U.S. — Researchers with the U.S. Food & Drug Administration have determined that cereal reaches its peak flavor at 10 pm if eaten on the couch while watching a true crime documentary."After 12 years of research and millions of dollars,…

SALT LAKE CITY, UT — A group of local bros were able to provide their own entertainment during a night out drinking cosmos as they took turns laughing at their friend who had gayly ordered a Bud Light."Get a load of this fruit loop who…

BRIGHTON, UK — The Attenborough family reportedly expressed regret for having brought Grandpa to the beach with them for a leisure weekend. The grandkids in particular wished he would just shut up and let them enjoy the beach."As the sun…