Life

If you have never had the incredible joy of experiencing life alongside man's best friend, there is so much you are missing out on! Here are ten amazing reasons to bring home a dog today:You're tired of your house smelling nice - it's…

CHATTANOOGA, TN — Surprising results from a recent study have conclusively shown that just 0.01% of all trail mix is actually eaten by people while they are on a trail. Researchers were eager to learn more about the demographics of the…

U.S. — As more and more families are hit by inflation under the Biden administration, experts are reporting that millions of Americans are turning to Costco samples as their primary source of sustenance."We used to be able to afford a…

When grocery store shelves began emptying sporadically in 2021, I started to worry in earnest about food security. I had enough land for a large garden, and I figured that 2022 was the perfect time to start producing some of my own food. So…

FORT WORTH, TX — A hotel located just outside the historic Fort Worth Stockyards is now serving breakfast during the reasonable times of 4:57 to 5:03, which hotel management advertises as "reasonable."The Rustic Inn, a staple of the Fort…

ATLANTA, GA — A United Airlines plane tragically exploded into a massive fireball during takeoff after the man sitting in seat 23F failed to switch his phone to airplane mode, FAA authorities confirmed Friday."One selfish person didn't put…

U.S. — According to sources, your Supercuts hairstylist just entered a back room and flipped a coin to decide whether to give you a surprisingly good haircut or the most atrocious haircut of all time."Hmmm, should I make this guy look good?…

BOSTON, MA — Local man Alan Rogers was confirmed to be completely dead inside after he failed to shed a single tear upon hearing 'Amazing Grace' played on bagpipes."Alan is apparently a soulless wraith from the netherworld," said witness…

CHINO HILLS, CA — The ongoing blurring of gender lines reached yet another milestone today, as a local man frantically and effeminately shooed a bee away from his face, resulting in him being granted honorary womanhood.The man, sitting down…

SALISBURY, MD — Nationwide news outlets have begun reporting on a historic event: a local nurse has set a new record for time elapsed without mentioning her occupation being nursing, waiting a grand total of 3.0011 minutes."Ooo you have…