Life

U.S. — According to several reports, everyone from your Jr. High class still thinks about that one time you forgot to zip up your fly, and they laugh about it every single day."Hey, remember when that one kid got up in front of our class to…

We all know that gas stoves are murderous devils, but they aren't the only household appliances the government should ban for our own safety! Here are seven other appliances that are problematic:Toasters: Their job is to turn something…

KANSAS CITY, KS — Less than a week after Christmas, local father Brandon Copeland decided to slip the Grinch twenty bucks to come take the drum set his son got for Christmas."I just couldn't take it anymore," said Mr. Copeland. "We thought…

TORONTO — In an attempt to change with the times, toy and game manufacturer Hasbro has introduced a special edition of its popular game Operation. This new version of the game, available only in Canada, simply has players end the patient's…

BLOOMSBURG, PA — After years of struggling to purchase his wife the right gift for Christmas, one local man started listening in October for ideas. His attentiveness gave him the idea of buying his wife a new, rechargeable vacuum after…

BLUE SPRINGS, MO — A family was brought to the brink of tragedy today as a local woman began making funeral arrangements for her husband when he failed to respond to her text message within 13 seconds."I could only assume that something…

HAMILTON, ON – The secret to being fully present in your miserable existence? Local life coach, June Funda, says it’s all about prioritizing a good night’s sleep. “It’s hard to focus on how everyone lets me down when I’m groggy,”…

PROVO, UT — With 11 minutes of estimated assembly time and a single Allen wrench as a required toolset, the $38 IKEA bunk bed has been rated as "probably safe.""It may look rickety, but come on – the Swedish don't put out second-rate…

TORONTO — Despite continued growth and financial success, fast food chain Chick-Fil-A has received a word of warning from an unexpected source, as psychologist/professor/author/philosopher/speaker/chicken sandwich eater Dr. Jordan B.…

ATLANTA, GA — This week, the parent company of the popular toy "Elf on a Shelf" announced a new extension to their product line – "Antifa On A Shelf," an Antifa-themed doll that burns down a different part of the house every night while the…