Life

MURFREESBORO, TN — According to sources, local husband Scott Limber rescued his wife from depression by helpfully explaining why she should be in a good mood."Don't worry, sweetie, you have no reason to be sad," Limber reportedly said.…

ROME, GA — In a brutal takedown, a local, well-known "Karen" was accused today of being a "real Margaret."The "Karen" in question, instead of merely acting in her usual manner as an entitled irritant, stepped up to gross condescension and…

U.S. — Before settling in to spend a couple more hours writing another angry social media screed, users across the country were encouraged to consider a recent report that nobody would care about their 17-paragraph political rant on…

Republican Rep. Chip Roy of Texas, with the support of 25 Republican cosponsors, reintroduced legislation on Tuesday that seeks to prevent the political prosecution of peaceful pro-lifers by repealing the Freedom of Access to Clinic…

POOLER, GA — According to sources, local wife Melissa Cross is waiting patiently for her husband, Jason, to turn off the reading light on his nightstand and plunge the bedroom into a quiet darkness before she finally unloads her deepest…

U.S. — After surveying tens of thousands of men, researchers at the University of Boston have concluded that the deepest desire of every man is to have an enormous map with little soldiers and tanks on it that they can move around with…

NASSAU, DE — After cuddling with her husband in front of a roaring fire and getting Christmas decorations put away over the weekend, local wife Jennifer Rushford realized she had nothing left to be stressed out about — and that stressed her…

CINCINNATI, OH — A pristine boxed set of J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy looked on in horror recently as their owner, Ambrose Franklin, sat down to binge-watch the movies for the 25th time.The mint-condition set of books, which…

GOTHAM CITY — Batman has officially traded in the Batmobile for a Tesla Cybertruck.After watching several videos displaying the Cybertruck's incredible power and unmatched durability, Batman decided it was time for an upgrade."Oh yeah, this…

FLINT, MI — Local man Keith Peters was sentenced today to six years in prison for failing to properly use a stud finder by first pointing it at himself and saying, "BEEEEEEEEP!"According to witnesses, Peters was just getting around to…