Life

U.S. — A groundbreaking new study has confirmed what countless scientists had suspected for decades, revealing an astounding 100% of male hikers pretend they are on a quest during the Third Age of Middle-earth.A Portuguese research team…

ST. PAUL, MN — A local wife revealed her pre-bedtime ritual consists of showering, applying lotion, and sticking her feet in the freezer."Got to get these babies nice and cold before I get into bed with hubby," Heather Chase explained as…

Abortion enthusiast Jessica Valenti “has spent the last two decades” writing in favor of all things abortion, which now includes a book titled Abortion: Our Bodies, Their Lies, and the Truths We Use to Win. As this is…

HADDONFIELD, NJ — Preliminary trick-or-treating reports indicated a house on Wedgewood Lane was planning to put out a bucket full of books by C.S. Lewis for children this year, instantly making it the most popular house in the…

If you listen to some people, the Jews are behind everything that goes on in the world. But does that theory hold up under scrutiny? You'd be surprised.The Babylon Bee conducted an investigation into the matter and put together the…

U.S. — In an effort to make up for serving incredibly lousy coffee, Starbucks has rolled out a new plan to heat all drinks to one million degrees Celsius."Our coffee may suck, but boy is it hot!" said Starbucks CEO Brian Niccol. "With your…

U.S. — A groundbreaking new study revealed a shocking insight into the masculine psyche, showing that 100% of men fantasize about launching their car off of every auto transport trailer they see while driving.According to researchers, the…

The Babylon Bee recognizes that we occupy land originally inhabited and cared for by Morton & Mayfield Accounting LLC. We honor and pay respect to their company presidents and subordinates — past, present, and future — as they continue…

Lately, I’ve been learning a new vocabulary: radiation, infusions, chemotherapy, stem cell transplant. Someone I love got a tough cancer diagnosis. There is nothing quite like bad news from a doctor that makes you think about how much time…

IRVINE, CA — A local man found himself at a crossroads today, as he was torn between working from home and being interrupted by his kids and working at the office and being interrupted by his coworkers."If I work from home I can basically…