Lifestyle

EDMONTON – In an effort to be the most responsible driver he can possibly be, John Carnaby is making sure he obeys the speed limit when he cruises through school zones and beans kids with his 2019 Ford Fiesta. “It amazes me that some people…

PICKERING, ON ― A scathing new report released today has found that local 52-year-old Linda Pike’s mid-life crisis is every university student’s dream problem, and that they probably won’t notice when they reach theirs because it will be…

SLOCAN, BC — Life coach Skye Morgan reported that the mystical healing experience she had at an ayahuasca retreat last weekend concluded with an unexpected element: a survey qualifying her to win a $25 Amazon gift card. “I feel so blessed…

OTTAWA – Allison Carver, who has recently experienced a series of paranormal events in her home, has told reporters that she was disappointed to discover she’s undergoing a boring, metaphorical haunting rather than the blood-curdling,…

ST. PAUL, MN — Sources close to Bruce Connor say that the 21-year-old martial artist has just finished proving he's a total idiot by spending 17 years earning his black belt when he could have just purchased one on Amazon for $12.99 years…

PHOENIX, AZ — A local family found themselves in a difficult situation when packing up to head home after vacation when they discovered that the Airbnb listing for the home they stayed in stipulated that they must remodel the kitchen before…

Bridgewater, NS – Through the haze of foggy memories and poor decisions, local high schoolers stumbled home after another post-prom rager, with only the faintest bit of leftover twilight to guide them. This was the latest misadventure for a…

MONTPELIER, VT — Local resident Deborah Johnson says she has found the ultimate solution to helping the men around her avoid lustful thoughts: wearing a romper."It's not quite a pantsuit, not quite overalls, and definitely not a dress," she…

OLD WESTBURY, NY — Sources close to the Ellington household claim that Kael Ellington, a recent graduate from Columbia University who majored in Gender Studies and Post-Colonial Deconstructionist Performance Art, is currently trying to find…

SAN DIEGO, CA — According to sources, local man Kyle Brannigan has now reached the age where he carefully checks the alcohol by volume number on every beer before consuming it. "Ooo this creamy imperial stout looks good," said Brannigan…