Lifestyle

OLD WESTBURY, NY — Sources close to the Ellington household claim that Kael Ellington, a recent graduate from Columbia University who majored in Gender Studies and Post-Colonial Deconstructionist Performance Art, is currently trying to find…

SAN DIEGO, CA — According to sources, local man Kyle Brannigan has now reached the age where he carefully checks the alcohol by volume number on every beer before consuming it. "Ooo this creamy imperial stout looks good," said Brannigan…

MENIFEE, CA — Members of the community were shocked and saddened to hear the story of a local man who got married young and never got to experience the joy of getting drunk at bars and waking up hungover with a new STD every morning.The…

CHIRIBIQUETE — A historic expedition went underway this week, as a dedicated man began his search through the most remote reaches of the Amazon jungle to find an uncontacted tribe of natives so he could tell them that he does Crossfit.Bryce…

US — With inflation showing no signs of slowing down, a new diet craze is sweeping across the nation. Known as the Biden Diet, the principle is simple; you spend the same amount of money on groceries as you were before, but you only get…

HAMPTON, NH — Popular gym franchise Planet Fitness has announced plans to add a "Bigot Alarm" at all locations nationwide to alert members whenever there is a horrible transphobic woman who doesn't want men watching her change in the…

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Merry Christmas. Has there ever been a more charged phrase in the English language? Try getting in the Christmas spirit by showing goodwill toward your fellow man with politically correct language that isn't quite so offensive.Here are some…

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AUSTIN, TX — A study at the University of Texas has confirmed that men will buy absolutely any item on earth so long as it is labeled "tactical"."You can slap the word 'tactical' on a houseplant and men will buy it," said lead researcher…