Lifestyle

U.S. — A hot new blanket is flying off the shelves and into the laps of women across the country thanks in part to its unique ability to light itself on fire."Ahhhhhh, it's the perfect temperature," said local wife Darla Thorp as she…

SAN BERNARDINO, CA — The world's dumbest man, Jeremy Dander, pulled up to a McDonald's outside of lunch hours, noticed only two cars in the drive-thru, and made the mistake of assuming the experience wouldn't take long."Only two cars in…

U.S. — After reports surfaced that employees at The Tonight Show were occasionally criticized by boss Jimmy Fallon, millions of Americans have come forward saying that they too have experienced a boss being occasionally unhappy.Incredibly,…

ARVADA, CO — Plumbing experts have determined that screaming, "No!! No, dear heavens, no!!!" is the most effective method of addressing an overflowing toilet."That's the key to avoiding flooding," said local plumber John Dudley. "You've got…

#pubg-adhesion { z-index: 100000000; position: fixed; bottom: 0; bottom: env(safe-area-inset-bottom); left: 0; right: 0; text-align: center; pointer-events: none; display: none; line-height: 1; font-size: 0; white-space: nowrap; }…

MOJAVE, CA — A local trailer park has come under fire, with visitors and prospective residents alike accusing its name "Paradise Oasis" of being at least somewhat of a noticeable exaggeration."I'm thinking this is a bit shy of ‘paradise,'"…

MENIFEE, CA — Local straight man, husband, and father of three Lyle Flann locked himself in his room to secretly enjoy Pitch Perfect again, sources confirmed Wednesday.Making sure his wife wasn't home and his kids were busy playing…

SAN JOSE, CA — Local atheist Jerry Carson spent another Sunday worshipping himself, say sources. The self-focused man reportedly woke up early to fix himself some breakfast before devoting himself to couch meditations for the remainder of…

ATLANTA, GA — Following Lululemon's surprising decision to not intervene when merchandise is being stolen, streets have been overrun with groups of thugs wearing the latest Lululemon attire."Did those guys just run by in matching pairs of…

Did you know that you might be gay and not even know it? It's true! We've consulted with experts in psychology and sodomy to help you identify the telltale signs that you are a closet homosexual.Consider these gay signs of homosexuality:You…