Lifestyle

ST. LOUIS, MO — After hearing another cry to the Almighty over a broken McDonald's ice cream machine, the Lord sent an angel to reassure believers that in Christ's Kingdom the machines will at least work the majority of the time."Behold! I…

WINNIPEG — Martin Melnyk reportedly spent Saturday at The Forks, a popular local mall, introducing himself to people emerging from the washrooms, hoping to find someone willing to shake his hand. He’s one of a growing number of damp-hand…

CALGARY – Local bumbler Kevin Hurst is planning to enter his hammock with a variety of easily spilled snacks and beverages, prompting onlookers and analysts to anticipate a series of zany hijinks. “As a father of three with a demanding…

NEW HAVEN, CT — Freshly transitioned to a woman, Leslie Roberson tasted the sweet thrill of womanhood this morning as she absolutely smashed his car into a curb."Whew! Sure feel like a woman now!" shouted Leslie with glee. "Better take the…

CINCINNATI, OH — Proctor & Gamble has released a brand new maximum-strength version of its popular Febreze air freshener product designed to combat the intense odor of bedrooms occupied by Jr. High-aged boys. The powerful air freshener…

WINNIPEG – Friends and family of Jennifer Higgens reacted with trepidation after the 32-year-old tweeted that she “did a thing” this past Saturday afternoon, unsure if their loved one had embarked upon a new hairstyle or a full-scale…

U.S.—Waffle House, a beloved national treasure and fast-food icon, has decided to expand outside its cozy diner market by producing its own line of scented candles. The Waffle House candles are designed to fill your home…

KINGSTON, ON – In a moment that could only be described as “a heartbreaking revelation of her own filth,” local woman Amanda Gessele was welcomed into the home of college friend Suzanne Tuffin, who apologized for the mess while standing on…

TORONTO – After an exhausting work week, local resident Sarah Smythe is shocked and dismayed to find herself trapped at her friend’s escape room party. “There’s no way out now, my hands are tied,” claimed Smythe. “Literally. My hands are…

VANCOUVER — As the travel season approaches, record-breaking gas prices are already putting the brakes on many Canadians’ summer plans. Including one Nathan McGee, 28, who may have to skip his annual tradition of driving across the country,…