linguistics

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) called Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CP) a “little bitch” amid GOP frustration at the Colorado Republicans’ move to try and force a vote on impeaching President Biden. What do you think?“I can never follow allof…

Start SlideshowTest your knowledge of the rules of the road by trying to pass the Department of Motor Vehicles’ written test.AdvertisementPrevious SlideNext SlideQ: What does the red light mean?Q: What does the red light…

Start SlideshowRon DeSantis, the rightwing governor of Florida, has been making headlines due to his ongoing feud with Disney and rumored presidential bid. The Onion sits down with the prominent Republican to discuss his political…

Start SlideshowPolice often rely on a number of deceptive tactics to obtain incriminating evidence or an unintended confession. The Onion offers this guide to the trick questions cops ask and to the responses one must provide to avoid going…

Start SlideshowThe infamous AI program ChatGPT has been given various ethical safeguards to prevent it from answering inflammatory, dangerous, or otherwise inappropriate questions. Here are questions that ChatGPT is not allowed to…

SKOPJE, NORTH MACEDONIA—Panicking while growing increasingly aware that there was no escape, a local kidney reportedly freaked out Thursday after waking up in a cooler full of ice with the rest of its man missing. “Oh fuck, oh fuck! Oh…

SANTA BARBARA, CA—Saying that the heart wants what the heart wants, local man Ross Weber told reporters Monday that he had a real thing for blond-haired, blue-eyed Aryans of pure breeding stock. “I don’t know what it is, but there’s…

WASHINGTON—According to federal officials currently monitoring the situation, the nation was rocked Tuesday by at least 40 million acts of total bullshit in what has now been confirmed as the most aggravating 24-hour span of time in U.S.…