Local

VANCOUVER – Illustrating beautifully the old adage that Rome wasn’t built in a day, local woman Anne Hill is proving that we all really do have to start somewhere after cracking her knuckles and typing “news” into google. Despite nearing…

SASKATOON — Local plants Natalie and William expressed their horror at having to reside on a structure surrounded by the corpses of their relatives, which have been dried, mulched, flattened, bound, and imprinted with line after line of…

SASKATOON — This weekend Sutherland neighbourhood residents gathered at Ronald Keegan’s end-of-summer garage sale, only to find that Ronald is far too inclined to inform buyers which items were once treasured keepsakes of his sweet, super…

WINNIPEG, MB — After an encounter with a used urn for sale at Value Village, local woman Trisha McKay has successfully avoided thinking too deeply about it. “I didn’t spare it a second thought,” McKay says, fixing a thousand-yard stare at a…

TORONTO – Local Fed-Ex driver Martin Bedard has spent the last 20 minutes circling in order to find the exact right bike lane to leave his truck in while he delivers a package. “A lot of drivers just leave their trucks in whatever bike lane…

EDMONTON – According to sources in Stacey Greene’s two-bedroom apartment, her roommate’s latest attempt at sex is not going well. “Taylor and their date disappeared into their room about 20 minutes ago, and since then there’s just…

TIMMINS, ON — Upon hearing the unmistakable sound of a scoop dig into a wet clump of litter, three-year-old Muffins Fitzwilliam has climbed atop his cat tree to look down upon you with the quiet, menacing authority of a tiny feudal lord.…

WHITBY, ON – Local office worker Lindy Jensen has reportedly started every morning at her job by telling co-workers not to talk to her until she’s had her coffee, despite the caffeine doing nothing to make her any more pleasant to be…

TORONTO – Students at Toronto Metropolitan University’s journalism program were eager to attend the annual cops always tell the truth seminar. “As journalists we’ve been taught to question everything and always try to seek independent…

VANCOUVER – Family and friends of Ted and Cecilia Watanabe found themselves whisked away to a realm of wonder, enchantment, and lupine violence at the couple’s wedding this past weekend. “We knew we had to do an outdoor wedding after…