Local

Moncton, NB – Local man Dave Hollings was confused and a little concerned to discover that the password he uses to access a website where literally every dollar he has can be transferred away was not good enough for Domino’s. “Yeah I put in…

EDMONTON – Eight-year-old Mason Wright and seven-year-old Olivia Glass have been busy playing house all afternoon by pretending to have their hearts set on a property, only for Mason’s imaginary friend Gerald to swoop in and take it from…

TORONTO – City officials cut the ribbon on the Parks Department’s most recent project this weekend; an urban obstacle course where men can jump real high and touch stuff. The course resembles a large playground but instead of swings…

Nelson, BC – A lighthearted fib posted on a friend’s Facebook page failed to generate the intended joyful confusion in even one reader this April Fool’s Day in light of the fact that the internet is a toxic cesspool of lies and…

CALGARY – According to sources in the Ross household, a plastic bag from this morning’s outing to the grocery store has been stuffed into a larger plastic bag full of plastic bags. “I should really recycle this bag of bags on the weekend,”…

CALGARY – Sources report that 27-year-old Elliot Greenwood has amazed and disturbed onlookers by bringing two bags of chips into bed with him. “I really like sour cream and onion, but I also really like ketchup, so I figured hey, why not?”…

MONCTON – Can’t Count Johnson has passed on at the ripe old self-reported age of 375. Possibly the oldest man ever to live, Johnson got the nickname ‘Can’t Count’ due to his inability to do the simplest arithmetic, or place numbers in…

STURGIS, SD—In an absolutely adorable moment during a conversation between men about a variety of manly topics, one man, Ernest Clompdweller kept referring to his Chevy Avalanche as a “truck.” “Yeah, my truck is pretty good at doing…

WINNIPEG – According to friends and family, Winnipeg resident David Leiter has begun wearing a cape and is obviously hoping that people will ask him why. “I think Dave might’ve lost his job or his dog or something,” an acquaintance…

UNITED STATES—As the nation’s police departments have received much-needed funding following a dangerously underfunded year, economists are reporting a surge in donut sales. “The streets will be safer now that our force has the funds to…