Local

Conservative Parents Catch Rebellious Teenage Daughter Sneaking Out With Friends To Wear N95 Masks PEORIA, IL—According to sources, a parent's worst nightmare has become a reality for the Smith family after their daughter fell in with…

Brantford, ON – This morning adorable toddler Liam O’Reilly, 3, declared that Daylight Saving Time was a fucking joke and he would arise at his normal hour, even if that was technically now in the middle of the night. “Daylight Saving Time…

HALIFAX, NS – Local man Greg Sanders, 29, was admitted to hospital following an acute stress-induced cardiac episode, a result of his decision to spend all of November growing a moustache, writing an entire novel, and refraining from…

COLUMBUS, OH—According to sources, local college student Tom Smith was robbed at gunpoint yesterday in the early morning hours as he was getting in his car. In a statement to police, he revealed that the gunman assured him the robbery…

ABBOTSFORD, BC — Father-of-two Allen Marks was caught off-guard when he found himself suddenly gripped by white-knuckled horror while taking his children, Angie and Michelle, back-to-school shopping. The incident occurred shortly after the…

EDMONTON – People invited to the Katie Carmichael-Chris Everett wedding were horrified to discover that the invitations featured lightsabers and X-Wings. “Jesus Christ, it says ‘Come celebrate a scruffy-looking nerf herder finding his…

OTTAWA – A national Canadian newspaper came under fire for several articles about an ongoing sex abuse case, after every article featured an extremely attractive photo of the accused sex criminal. “Oh, you mean this hunk of burning white…

DEEPWATER COVE, B.C. – Residents of Deepwater Cove are being reassured by Milo Saunders, a local meteorologist who was consistently voted the most trusted man in town until his untimely death at sea in 2002, that the blanket of thick,…

After encouraging citizens to reject “woke” agendas that dictate their lives, Federalist Publisher Ben Domenech said Americans must wake up and be prepared to fight in the struggle to preserve their nation on Friday’s edition of Fox News…

Muskoka, ON – Seasonal resident, David Lyons who inherited a million dollar Muskoka cottage, has an opinion on Indigenous land sovereignty. “It doesn’t make sense,” began a 60 year old Lyons, whose family cottage has been passed down…