mating

Start SlideshowAfter attempts to ban abortion, birth control, and IVF, some people think the next conservative target will be sexual intercourse outside of marriage. The Onion asked conservatives why casual sex should be illegal, and this…

LAWRENCE, KS—Unable to control herself while watching the R&B star perform during the Super Bowl LVIII halftime show, local mom Kathy Deacon got up from her couch and licked Usher’s abs on her TV screen, sources reported Sunday. “Oh…

PARIS—Backing away slowly in fear at the unanticipated response to their public demonstration, climate protesters reportedly grew visibly terrified Monday as the Mona Lisa extended a big, wet tongue and started licking up the soup. “Yum,…

WOOD BUFFALO NATIONAL PARK, AB – Bird watchers are flocking to migratory hotspots across the country to witness the annual and literal fuckfest that is bird migration. “I’m not a pervert,” insists Leonard Moleskin, crouched in a bush,…