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CHICAGO—Following an investigation from the U.S. Department of Labor, McDonald’s was under fire Monday for reportedly employing a 7-year-old Grimace. “We discovered this young Grimace late one night at McDonald’s, working all alone, without…

The Department of Labor has fined three McDonald’s franchisees in Kentucky for employing more than 300 children, with one franchisee having two 10-year-olds working at its locations, without pay, as late as 2 A.M. What do you think?“Oh,…

“I boycott any company that tramples on the rights of Americans, whether it’s Bud Light, Walmart, Ford, Tesla, Amazon, McDonald’s, Halliburton, Circle K, basically the entire hotel industry, the vast majority of hospitals, and almost…

ARTHUR, IL—Reflecting on the two-day trip to her partner’s hometown with an equal mixture of disgust, awe, and confusion, local woman Melissa Longworth reportedly described visiting her boyfriend’s lower-class family Tuesday like she was on…

ChatGPT, an AI-based program that creates humanlike responses to inquiries and can complete a wide variety of tasks, has significantly grown in popularity. The Onion asked CEOs of major companies how they would use ChatGPT for their…

At this point, you likely won’t be able to get close to this burger without gagging, not only because of the near-complete putrefaction, but from the dawning realization of all this time and energy you’ve poured into watching it. Just…