meat

World leaders from developed nations will be pressured to “curb their excessive appetite for meat” during the United Nations’ upcoming COP28 annual climate conference, Bloomberg News reported Saturday. “Nations that over-consume meat will…

A group of scientists is proposing government-mandated cigarette-style caution labels on meat packages that could read, “Warning: Eating meat contributes to climate change.” The anti-meat scientists, who falsely claim meat consumption is…

WICHITA, KS—Addressing the need to incorporate more humane practices at its facilities, Cargill Meat Solutions announced Thursday that it had hired assassins to quietly slaughter cows in their sleep. “In order to reduce the suffering of…

MINONG, WI—Saying the product was only for those truly serious about feeding their wild side, beef snack purveyor Jack Link’s announced Friday it had begun selling a new, extra-tough barbed jerky, reportedly its most indigestible processed…

Instead of addressing the “vast pedophile network” allegedly thriving on Instagram, the platform is focussing its time on defaming and censoring The Federalist for exposing the globalist, Michael Bloomberg-run “C40 Cities Climate Leadership…

BATESVILLE, AR—Holding his arm and trying not to cry as he walked nervously up to his supervisor, bleeding 9-year-old worker Blaine Wilkins reportedly asked Friday if he could go to the slaughterhouse nurse. “Um, ma’am, I cut myself on the…

When New Yorkers chose Eric Adams to be Gotham’s 110th mayor in 2021, the general narrative about the election was that his victory demonstrated the city was ready to move toward the center after the eight calamitous years of Bill de…

A Chicago man filed a class action lawsuit against Buffalo Wild Wings, saying the restaurant chain is charging too much for its boneless wings, which are basically nuggets and not made from the actual wing of a chicken. What do you…

Thieves stole the catalytic converter from the iconic Oscar Mayer Wienermobile while it was parked overnight during a promotional visit for the Super Bowl in Las Vegas last week. What do you think?“So that’s what hot dogs are made of.”Max…

GLENDALE, AZ—Calling timeout and coming to the aid of the team’s visibly ailing head coach during Super Bowl LVII, Kansas City Chiefs medical staff helped a critically hungry Andy Reid into the sideline meat-smoking tent. “After a member of…