medical specialties

We are legally required to warn that looking directly at Americans might make you puke. However, cosmetic procedures can significantly improve the vomit-inducing physical appearance of the U.S. populace. The Onion examines the most popular…

TOYKO—Apologizing profusely for the misunderstanding that could potentially end her Olympic career, U.S. sprinter Justine Hayes blamed a positive Covid test Wednesday on a nutritional supplement she didn’t realize contained the novel…

Senate Democrats have introduced draft legislation that would decriminalize marijuana at the federal level by removing it from the federal list of controlled substances. What do you think?“Next,we’ll be decriminalizing deadlier drugs like…

One and fifty three employees at a Houston hospital system who refused to get the Covid-19 vaccine have resigned or been fired after a judge dismissed an employee lawsuit over the hospital’s vaccine requirement. What do you think?“Something…

WASHINGTON—Buoyed by their success in restricting female reproductive rights, the GOP reportedly launched a new legislative effort Monday to control women’s pancreases. “Every day, women are using pancreatic enzymes to break down food…

LONDON—Having prepared for months to make its mark at this year’s Olympics, coronavirus variant B.1.525—a U.K. native best known for its skillful weakening of antibody responses—confirmed Thursday that it was excited to compete in Tokyo…

An estimated 40 million adults receive therapy treatment every year, but those considering therapy or even in therapy may encounter some common myths and misconceptions about what it can accomplish. The Onion debunks the most enduring myths…

Ohio will award five vaccinated adult residents $1 million each in a bid to address vaccine hesitancy in the state, with those eligible having received at least one dose of the Covid-19 vaccine. What do you think?“And there I was a few …

BALTIMORE—Slowly zooming in on the precancerous growth while it hissed and screeched, local gastroenterologist Gary Weiss reportedly watched in horror Friday as a polyp skittered in front of the colonoscopy camera just as the screen went…

With a significant portion of Americans indicating opposition to getting a coronavirus vaccine, debate has risen over the potential use of vaccine passports, or digital vaccination records that could be required for travel or to enter…