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“I don’t understand why we’re having to convince people to get a job. It’s awesome! Jobs give you a minimum $174,000 salary, housing, health insurance, life insurance, annual allowances, a pension, a family death gratuity, free parking,…

Start SlideshowWith the 2024 election quickly approaching, The Onion asked Republican voters what issues were most important to them, and this is what they said.AdvertisementPrevious SlideNext SlideDella Mullen, FarmerDella Mullen,…

SPOKANE, WA—Letting out a gratified, peaceful sigh as she sipped her morning coffee, local stable, content woman Gina Dore reportedly remained unaware Monday that she only had a few months left before she would be thinking about Ron…

TALLAHASSEE, FL—During a rally in which he decried the cut of his suit as yet another example of political correctness run amok, Florida governor and likely presidential candidate Ron DeSantis railed against his own pants Friday, blaming…

In response to new rules issued by the administration of Gov. Ron DeSantis, teachers are being ordered to remove all books from libraries and classrooms until they can be approved by a state-trained “certified media specialist.” The…