Ministries

Joel Osteen Decides To Diversify His Portfolio And Not Invest All His Treasure In Heaven HOUSTON, TX—Portfolio diversification: It’s a basic principle of investing. Unfortunately, many Christians believe they’re supposed to put all their…

LAKEWOOD, CO—During services at Lifecrosspointe Community Church this weekend, churchgoers watched a brief video providing a report of its youth group’s recent mission trip to West Virginia. The team from the suburban Denver church…

LA MIRADA, CA—Famed Christian apologist Ravi Zacharias shocked crowds both live and online on Saturday when he absolutely devastated atheist debate opponent Sam Hawkins with a jaw-rocking shoryuken, uppercutting the scholar and sending…

NOVATO, CA—Local pastor Lance Vaccarino was declared to be disqualified from ministry at Sunrise Christian Church after his midichlorian test came back negative. The fallen pastor will be placed under church discipline and assigned to the…

Sad: This Pastor Foolishly Spent 3 Years In Seminary When He Could Have Been Educated On The Bible By An Internet Atheist For Free Meet Pastor Charlie Henderson. He spent a full three years in seminary on top of four years of Bible college…

BOSTON, MA—The worship band at Free Grace Community Church confirmed Thursday it had instituted a "No 'Stairway to Heaven'" policy during practice times. The policy, which bans any melodies, licks, riffs, lyrics, or chord progressions from…

Youth Pastor Takes Sabbatical To Give Himself A Break From Eating Pizza, Playing Video Games All Day FRESNO, CA—Local youth pastor Stu "Sparky" Robinson announced to his youth group Sunday that he will be taking a month-long sabbatical in…

U.S.—A report coming out of the laser tag industry in the United States confirmed Friday that the nation's youth groups are the only thing keeping the laser gun combat-focused entertainment venues in business. "Frankly, if it weren't for…

BRENTSVILLE, AR—Sources within Horizon Community Church confirmed Thursday that the congregation's children's ministry handbook has been replaced by a well-worn copy of Lord of the Flies. The church chose the book so that children's…

PORTLAND, OR—Greg Sterling, 47, sued the government earlier this week in to get his age changed 20 years younger than he actually is in order to land a job as a youth pastor at a local church. Sterling petitioned to have his age changed to…