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FBI Director Christopher Wray narrowly avoided contempt of Congress proceedings last week over his refusal to provide the House Oversight Committee with an unclassified document memorializing a trusted informant’s allegation that then-Vice…

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NAMPA, ID—Expressing their dismay with yet another product overtaken by the liberal conspiracy to destroy traditional lifestyles, conservatives around the country reportedly began boycotting computers Friday after noticing their keyboards…

Portland, Oregon – Walmart CEO Doug McMillon recently stated the rise in thefts from Walmart stores is very bad, unlike the hundreds of million dollars Walmart stole from its own employees. “Several stores in lefty states have had to close…

Toronto, ON – Loblaws CEO Galen Weston Jr. has recently explained to politicians on Parliament Hill that his record-breaking profits during difficult economic times are only due to Canadians’ modern fascination with eating. “It’s a very…

WASHINGTON—Awake until the wee hours of the morning carefully crafting the policy, Education Secretary Miguel Cardona’s mother was forced to stay up all night devising a plan to combat student debt, sources reported Thursday. “Wait, you…

WASHINGTON—In the wake of the collapse of Silicon Valley Bank and subsequent government bailout of its depositors, the Federal Reserve took steps Friday to assure venture capitalists that they’re very smart and important. “You are just the…

NEW YORK—Calling it a desirable low-risk, high-yield option, financial experts reportedly recommended Thursday that Americans invest in businesses the government will bail out anytime they fuck up. “We strongly encourage people to put their…