mortality

The first thing you notice when picking up Knife: Meditations After an Attempted Murder, Salman Rushdie’s account of surviving an assassination attempt two years ago, is the photo. The iconic image of the legendary writer — eyebrows cocked…

Windsor, ON – Local man Ryan Garner was pronounced dead this morning after being stabbed and hit by 3 cars in a row, the last of which knocked him off a 40 foot high bridge, making him just the latest person to die from the COVID vaccine.…

WINNIPEG, MB — After an encounter with a used urn for sale at Value Village, local woman Trisha McKay has successfully avoided thinking too deeply about it. “I didn’t spare it a second thought,” McKay says, fixing a thousand-yard stare at a…

WEST VIRGINIA- In a time when most states are struggling with low mortality rates,West Virginia Governor and local boyboss Jim Justice (R) is offering state residents a chance to win guns if they get the COVID-19 vaccine. So innovative! “We…

NANAIMO, BC – According to local sources, the rotting carcass of a beached grey whale has complicated Becky Shelton’s profound spiritual crisis. “Don’t get me wrong, I love that God is here to carry me at my lowest point,” a…