musicians

GLENDALE, AZ—After the pop sensation’s much-anticipated Eras Tour kicked off with a pair of shows in Arizona, sources confirmed this week that the first Taylor Swift concert in more than three years was attended solely by old-money…

PASO ROBLES, CA—Noting that she had procrastinated cleaning him for so long that he had developed a thick, impenetrable layer of grime, local woman Tiffany Watters told reporters Thursday that she had left her filthy, grease-covered…

CHICAGO—Causing everyone in the conversation to feel awkward about his concerning statements, sources confirmed Monday that their problematic friend began arguing that controversial rapper and designer Kanye West actually made some good…

NEW YORK—Welcoming the 34-year-old freshman lawmaker into the fold, international modeling agency IMG Models confirmed Monday that it had signed Rep. George Santos (R-NY). “He’s fresh, he’s fun, and he exudes a rare kind of playful…

LOS ANGELES—Explaining that he was really more of a “podcast person,” pop star Harry Styles told reporters Monday that he figured he should listen to his album now that it had won a Grammy. “Well, if it’s getting a Grammy, then someone must…

KANSAS CITY, MO—Appearing pleased and presenting the new acquisition with a twirl, local woman Nelly Winters was overheard saying “I love that it has pockets” to a group of friends Tuesday as she showed off her new boyfriend. “I know it’s…

LOS ANGELES—As awards season arrives and critics take note of the film’s problematic whitewashed casting, the Golden Globe–nominated Elvis faced increased scrutiny this week for casting Austin Butler in the role of the iconic Black singer.…

Rep. George Santos (R-NY) has repeatedly misrepresented his achievements, his career, and his heritage both before and during his time as an elected official. Here is every lie he’s told the public about his life so far.Advertisement“My…

Rapper Dr. Dre has sent a cease-and-desist letter to U.S. politician Marjorie Taylor Greene, after she used his song “Still D.R.E.” in a promotional video. What do you think?“I prefer Dre’s earlier legal threats.”Carl Pearson,…

HARTFORD, CT—Overcome with quiet melancholy as she witnessed the profound tenderness of the exchange, area woman Camille Rossner reportedly realized Tuesday that she would never know an intimacy like that of two passing garbage truck…