National

What a way to boost the economy: more fuel, fumes and funerals. Revving up the motorway speed limit from 70 to 80mph, as the transport secretary Phillip Hammond will propose at the Conservative party conference this weekend, can only spark…

Fewer schools will be rated outstanding from next year, inspectors have said. The move comes after Michael Gove, the education secretary, said many schools awarded the ranking did not deserve it. Under rules coming into force in…

OTTAWA – After being found guilty of criminal mischief, “Freedom Convoy” organizers Chris Barber and Tamara Lich insist they are not worried about what kind of sentence they’ll face as they’re sure U.S. President Donald Trump will pardon…

OTTAWA – Reports are coming in that Canadians from coast to coast engaged in horrifying acts of rudeness, thoughtlessness, and impoliteness during this year’s Purge Day: Canadian Edition. “The famously self-effacing spirit of our country…

OTTAWA – With US President Trump instituting 25% tariffs on all steel and aluminum imports, Canada has elected to use their excess metals in the most sensible way possible – by constructing a 21-storey-tall robotic weapon shaped after…

OTTAWA – Following a weekend where US President Donald Trump suddenly backed down from a threat to impose 25% tariffs on Canada, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has been observed sliding into the DMs of numerous world economies. “Hey…

By: Chris Standin President Trump has gone ahead with his long rumoured plans to put a 25% tariff on all Canadian goods sold in the United States (other than energy, which got 10%). He believes he can use brute economic force to make us…

OTTAWA – According to experts Justin Trudeau resigning is proof that just making political error after political error over the course of 9 years can topple even the most powerful politician. “Canadian voters have become far less forgiving…

OTTAWA – Local man Matthew Kearns has admitted that, despite despising Trump and wanting Canada to remain independent, it would almost be worth becoming the 51st state just to watch American politicians and media try to wrap their heads…

OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has ordered an end to the ongoing Canada Post strike after learning that Santa Claus, who he was counting on to deliver presents to the entire country this December, is not in fact real. PMO insiders…