National

OTTAWA – Local man Matthew Kearns has admitted that, despite despising Trump and wanting Canada to remain independent, it would almost be worth becoming the 51st state just to watch American politicians and media try to wrap their heads…

OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has ordered an end to the ongoing Canada Post strike after learning that Santa Claus, who he was counting on to deliver presents to the entire country this December, is not in fact real. PMO insiders…

According to a recent poll, about 13% of Canadians support Donald Trump’s recent suggestion that Canada become the 51st state. Naturally we wanted to ask them “what the fuck is wrong with you?!” But instead we went with “why?” See More:…

Scotland Yard has been called in after a personal diary belonging to Theresa May, the home secretary, was mislaid in a Glasgow concert hall. A spokesman said security had not been compromised. The diary was found at the concert hall by…

Footballer Rio Ferdinand yesterday lost his landmark privacy action over a “kiss and tell” story published by the Sunday Mirror. The England and Manchester United star was not at the high court in London to hear Mr Justice Nicol…

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge arrive at the Royal Marsden cancer centre, London, yesterday to open a specialist children’s treatment ward, the Oak Centre for Children and Young PeopleThe Guardian

Ministers are preparing for a massive expansion in electronic tagging of offenders, with private security companies being invited to bid for more than £1 bn worth of contracts next month. The use of electronic tagging has grown…

OTTAWA – Pierre Poilievre continues to refute all Liberal Party attempts to tie him to President Donald Trump, insisting that if people pay close attention they’ll see he’s way more of a JD Vance type. “Canadians see right through the…

OTTAWA – A smug man from Canada wasted no time this morning chastising Americans for re-electing terrifying liar and felon Donald Trump, despite the fact that he plans to vote for terrifying liar and asshole Pierre Poilievre in the next…

OTTAWA – Yesterday Justin Trudeau made a bold commitment, announcing billions of dollars in funding for a massive government program to make Canadians lives better in some way, which Pierre Poilievre will absolutely cancel when he is…