National

TORONTO – A new study has revealed that the best way to get rid of an unwanted cadaver is to carefully pack it into a suitcase and check it as luggage with Air Canada at a local airport. “Checking in bodies with Canada’s largest air carrier…

OTTAWA – A recent York University survey indicates that a majority of Canadians have already given up on planning and hoping within the year 2023, and have shifted any optimism forward to the year 2024 instead. “I’m supposed to graduate…

WINNIPEG – A recent meeting of Canada’s Premiers has seen the provincial leaders urgently request that Prime Minister Trudeau provide increased healthcare funding, to be spent on none of your fucking business, that’s what. Following the…

Kamloops, BC – Local man Mark Howerston is confident the Freedom Convoy occupation of Ottawa was not enough of an emergency to justify the Trudeau government’s use of the Emergencies Act. “I get they wanted the truckers out of there but it…

BALI – Following Chinese claims that Justin Trudeau was acting in a “condescending manner” toward Xi Jinping, the Canadian prime minister has assured Chinese officials he is only condescending to Canadian voters. “President Xi and I may…

OTTAWA – As cases skyrocket around the country and hospitals are overwhelmed, the federal and provincial health approach of ‘see no covid, hear no covid’ has been called into question. “The federal and provincial governments decided masking…

OTTAWA – The Emergencies Act inquiry has revealed that Ottawa police officers leaked information to the so-called Freedom Convoy as part of their ingenious strategy to combat the protestors. “First we let them do whatever they wanted to…

TORONTO – In light of Doug Ford and Francois Legault’s rampant use of the Notwithstanding Clause to pass legislation that violates the Charter Of Rights And Freedoms some political analysts say including the ‘oops all your rights are gone’…

OTTAWA – Not content with only winning the Tory leadership election this year, Pierre Poilievre can now add another victory to his resume. He has just won the 2022 House of Commons Halloween Costume Contest with his perfect Milhouse…

GENEVA – Several diplomats have disclosed to the international press their growing concern that Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau continues to run his mouth about Putin as if he is oblivious to the fact that anyone looking at a map for…