Netflix

OGDEN, UT—Admitting the capital offender had obviously put a lot of work into the clues, Ogden police officials told reporters Monday they felt bad after easily solving a serial killer’s series of riddles. “I hate to say it, because this…

Netflix’s new hit TV series “Beef” reminds viewers that regardless of one’s station in life, nothing in the secular world, whether anger, revenge, money, status, or even relationships, can fill our inner void. Faith is our only…

Netflix announced it will be ending its DVD-by-mail rental service that set the stage for its trailblazing video streaming service, ending an era that began 25 years ago when delivering discs through the mail was considered a revolutionary…

LOS GATOS, CA—Emphasizing that the earlier they found out about the brutal homicides, the better the end results, Netflix officials asked Friday that any men thinking of killing their families just go ahead and contact them directly first.…

LOS GATOS, CA—In a statement confirming the 46th president of the United States would not be providing it with so much as a voice-over, let alone an onscreen appearance, Netflix announced Monday there was no way in hell it would give…

CHICAGO—In a comprehensive and damning assessment of where your good-for-nothing ass has been since the last time we saw you, a new report published Tuesday said that we can tell you’ve been clicking on other websites…

TORONTO – As Netflix cracks down on people sharing passwords in order to boost its revenue CBC Gem has announced that it too will stop all of its paid Premium Account members from sharing their password just as soon as someone signs up for…

FAKE NEW YORK – Emma Sanford, a character in the recent Netflix romcom Here And/Or There who recently experienced an upsetting breakup, has reported being unable to find the perfect wall to slide down as she cries. “My apartment walls are…

LOS ANGELES – As part of its crackdown on password sharing streaming giant Netflix has announced that for every person it catches using someone else’s account it will produce one more Adam Sandler movie. “We can no longer allow people to…

ChatGPT, an AI-based program that creates humanlike responses to inquiries and can complete a wide variety of tasks, has significantly grown in popularity. The Onion asked CEOs of major companies how they would use ChatGPT for their…