neuralink

Start SlideshowTesla recently sought shareholder approval to restore Elon Musk’s $56 billion pay package, which was rejected by a Delaware judge. The Onion asked Tesla fans to explain why Elon Musk deserves the $56 billion…

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Humanity quietly crossed a threshold this week when Elon Musk announced on X that the first person has received a Neuralink brain implant. “Initial results show promising neuron spike detection,” said Musk, later adding that the first…

Elon Musk announced that his company Neuralink implanted its first brain-computer interface into a human and that the patient is “recovering well,” the goal of the new wireless device being to link directly into an individual’s cerebral…

SAN FRANCISCO—In an astounding medical breakthrough for the brain microchip company, Neuralink researchers confirmed Wednesday that the first brain implant recipient had successfully performed depraved sexual acts on Elon Musk. “Although…

Elon Musk has once again found himself in hot water after The Wall Street Journal confirmed that the CEO often uses illegal drugs, including cocaine, LSD, magic mushrooms, ecstasy, and ketamine. Here is everything The Onion currently knows…

AUSTIN, TX—Noting that all great innovators must fail in order to succeed, sources confirmed Tuesday that Elon Musk was rushed to the hospital after attempting to impregnate a toaster. The 52-year-old billionaire, who founded Tesla, SpaceX,…

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As if Elon Musk hadn’t killed enough people with self-driving Teslas, the billionaire boy genius has now received approval to begin killing humans with Neuralink implants. The Onion asked fanboys why they are allowing Elon Musk to shove…

Start SlideshowTest your knowledge of the ultimate billionaire memelord with this epic Elon Musk quiz.AdvertisementPrevious SlideNext SlideWhat is Elon Musk’s net worth?What is Elon Musk’s net worth?AdvertisementPrevious SlideNext SlideIt’s…