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Erewhon Defends $19 Strawberry: ‘It’s Made To Be Split’ - The Onion News In Photos Share Published: March 7, 2025 More News in Photos Explore Tags…

Q: Why is the Trump administration targeting the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration? A: To encourage forecast-obsessed Americans to live in the moment. Q: Why do we need NOAA? A: We’re about to find out. Q: Why do Republicans…

SAN FRANCISCO—Warning that every flaccid member across the globe now represented a ticking time bomb in his hands, cackling Hims CEO Joseph Ludlum released a statement Friday in which he threatened to pull a switch that would activate all…

Trump Renames Eric ‘Eric Of America’ - The Onion News In Photos Share Published: March 6, 2025 More News in Photos Explore Tags Read More…

Following his Oval Office clash with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, President Donald Trump has paused military aid to Ukraine. The Onion fact-checks Trump on the Russia-Ukraine war. Claim: Zelensky never told the United States…

Sergeant-At-Arms Ejects Al Green After Repeated Warnings About His Race - The Onion News In Photos Share Published: March 5, 2025 More News in Photos…

WASHINGTON—Groaning with exhaustion and joint pain after their late bedtime last night, members of Congress were reportedly all groggy Wednesday after staying up past 8:30 p.m. for President Donald Trump’s address. “Oh God, I can’t believe…

WASHINGTON—Promising a glorious future marked by limitless prosperity for the East Asian nation, President Donald Trump outlined a bold vision Tuesday night for a golden age of China. “Under my leadership, a prosperous new era of Chinese…

Elon Musk Begins Cabinet Meeting By Putting Index Finger Through Fly Of Pants - The Onion News In Photos Share Published: March 4, 2025 More News in…

FAIRFAX, VA—Calling the young students “the true enemy of gun rights,” the National Rifle Association reportedly issued an “F” rating Monday to dead schoolchildren. “This is our lowest rating, and it’s exactly what this radical group…