NHL

DENVER – As the Stanley Cup Finals kicks off in Denver hockey experts agree that the Edmonton Oilers, who were swept by the finalist Avs, are ready to make a great run next year while the Toronto Maple Leafs, who lost a close 7 game series…

NEW YORK CITY – Smiling widely, NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman showed reporters where the victory parade would be for his annual celebration of denying Canadian teams a Stanley Cup once again. “We’re going to start at Times Square riding in…

EDMONTON – Ahead of Game 4 Calgary Flames head coach Darryl Sutter unveiled a secret plan to actually play defense against Oilers forward Connor McDavid. “Our strategy of just letting him do whatever he wants at all times doesn’t seem to be…

TORONTO – Child Services has announced that, going forward, they will deem any parent encouraging their young children to be fans of the Toronto Maple Leafs to be negligent, abusive and borderline cruel. “Adult Leafs fans are probably too…

TORONTO – Local man Geoff Mclaughlin has confirmed that, at the age of 35, his entire emotional state still rides on the results of a game whose outcome is often left entirely in control of people as dumb and terrible at their jobs as NHL…

OTTAWA – A new poll by Angus Reid has confirmed that the vast majority of Canadians would favour de-legalizing sports betting if it means the incessant ads would finally stop. “When the government made it legal I thought ‘why not? Maybe…

ST. CATHARINES, ON – Local man Devon Rettinger recently expressed bewilderment that his thorough knowledge of the statistics of the Buffalo Sabres in their 1996-1997 season hasn’t led to more recognition, or at least job opportunities.…

TORONTO – In the wake of the Toronto Raptors second straight loss to the Philadelphia 76ers the NHL referees association has congratulated NBA officiating for screwing over the Toronto based team even more severely than they usually do. “We…

TORONTO – As the debate rages about who is the best player in the NHL: Auston Matthews or Connor McDavid, experts are saying there is no real way to properly settle the debate until they both play for the Leafs in a few years. “It’s just…

TORONTO – Usually it’s the hockey players that are praised for inspiring people. But today people are taking time to praise the unsung heroes of the game, the refs, for letting them know it is possible to get a high-paying job where you do…