noise

ST. LOUIS—Her face fixed in a permanent grimace throughout the evening, local mother Deanna Murray’s main contribution to the political discussion taking place in her kitchen Monday was reportedly an occasional disgusted scoffing noise.…

JACKSONVILLE, FL—With the standard curriculum of anatomy, biology, risks, and consent continually being challenged by parent groups, sources confirmed Thursday that the only sex education that remains in the United States is pressing one’s…

A janitor cleaning in a laboratory at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in Troy, NY has been accused of damaging at least $1 million in scientific research after a storage freezer shut off while he was trying to turn off a constant beeping…

WASHINGTON—Shedding new light on the fate of the missing Titan submersible, noted banging sound expert Stephen Beaumont confirmed Thursday that the noise detected underwater near the site of the OceanGate crew sounded like a banging sound.…

WASHINGTON— Jumping at the sudden, unexpected sound, reports across the United States confirmed Thursday that the nation was startled by a loud noise. “Ah! Oh my god, what was that?” said 330 million Americans, noting that their heart just…

EVERYWHERE, ALL AROUND YOU, ALL THE TIME ― A report conducted this summer by the University of Guelph has found that 97% of reported cases of temporary insanity in Canada are triggered exclusively by the infuriating buzzing of fucking…

EDMONTON – According to sources in Stacey Greene’s two-bedroom apartment, her roommate’s latest attempt at sex is not going well. “Taylor and their date disappeared into their room about 20 minutes ago, and since then there’s just…