Ontario

TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford has announced his plan to encourage vaccine hesitant people to finally get vaccinated: end the vaccine passport system that encourages them to get vaccinated. “We’ve been trying to convince the last 10-20% of…

QUEEN’S PARK – After coming under fire for remarks that immigrants who “collect the dole and sit around” should “go somewhere else,” Ontario Premier Doug Ford clarified that he only meant those comments for immigrants who aren’t white. “I…

TORONTO – After declaring himself the Premier who says Yes, Doug Ford has revealed that he made the decision after re-watching the moderate Jim Carrey hit ‘Yes Man.’ “Folks I was flipping around the tv with the clicker and I came across…

TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford is defending one of his MPPs for misrepresenting her vaccination status saying that she now has a medical condition that causes her to lie about her vaccination status. Durham MPP Lindsay Park will remain…

TORONTO – Saying the moment he has been waiting for was finally here, David McGrath, owner of Tito’s Bar and Grill, proudly announced that those who were not vaccinated were just as welcome in his establishment as those who were, in direct…

TORONTO – As the billions of relief dollars sent to Ontario by the federal government continue to sit unused, Doug Ford is promising all citizens that, when the time is right, he will spend the money on a big pizza party. “Sure I could use…

QUEEN’S PARK – Citizens of Ontario were surprised to find an unknown letter tucked amongst their usual mail promising them the untold riches of capable governance. The letter was sent by the Ontario PCs to a number of homes across the…

QUEENS PARK – After delaying for as long as possible, Doug Ford and Stephen Lecce have finally revealed their back to school safety plan, which is for kids to pick the sicker kids last during physical education classes. “Our plan is as…

MONTREAL – Local man Michelle Savard, who thinks Bill 21 did not go far enough to prevent Muslim women and other religious minorities from dressing how they choose, believes that the recently announced vaccine passport is a gross and…

TORONTO – Ontario NDP leader Andrea Horwath announced that she would oppose mandatory COVID vaccinations for teachers, yet another plank in her expansive new plan to never become Ontario’s premier in a million years. With a provincial…