Ontario

QUEEN’S PARK – The PC party of Ontario has just announced their bold pledge to provide handguns to all Ontarians if re-elected in June. “My priority is always the safety and welfare of the people of this province”, said Premier Doug Ford to…

QUEEN’S PARK – Ontario Premier Doug Ford announced this week that the provincial minimum wage will be going up by $0.50 this fall, which he described as a “tasty little treat” for all those workers who managed to survive Covid-19 so far.…

TORONTO – Following a Toronto Star investigation revealing that more COVID tests went to private schools than daycares, paramedics, jails, and homeless shelters combined, Premier Doug Ford has apologized for not sending more to real estate…

Oshawa, ON – Local man Dalton Framer took time to savour the fact that he was finally allowed to walk into a crowded KFC without a mask, regardless of the fact that Ontario is currently facing 100,000 cases a day of COVID. “Before the…

TORONTO – As part of their ‘don’t say anything about a 6th wave or we’ll cut you’ approach to managing COVID, Doug Ford and the Conservatives announced a full ban on sharing photos of positive rapid tests. “Seeing almost everyone you know…

QUEEN’S PARK – As Ontario becomes the last province to sign a deal on the Federal Government’s $10-per-day child-care plan, Premier Doug Ford took credit for achieving his sole negotiating objective: ensuring that no disadvantaged person…

TORONTO – As news of the federal Liberals and NDP confidence and supply agreement reached them, both NDP Leader Andrea Horwath and Liberal Leader Steven Del Duca expressed surprise at why they would do such a thing. “Overcoming fairly minor…

QUEEN’S PARK – After appearing to reject the Toronto District School Board’s request to extend mask mandates, Premier Ford clarified that they can keep the mandates provided they begin attending or working at a Private School. “Folks,…

TORONTO – In the wake of the province’s successful ‘if we don’t test for COVID, we won’t have high rates of COVID’ strategy, Education officials have announced that every student in the province got straight As after they stopped giving…

QUEEN’S PARK – In a sad day for public health fans everywhere, the Ontario vaccine mandate was officially confirmed as deceased in the early hours of March 1, 2022. The Ontario vaccine mandate was a positive influence on thousands of…