Op-Ed

From time to time, fans, interviewers, and other liberal actors will ask me what I think about President Trump. I’ve dodged the question as long as I can, not wanting my extremely unpopular opinion about Trump to alienate my friends,…

Hey fam! It’s your fave youth pastor, Evan Lyle here—but as always, you can call me “E-Dawg.” I hope y’all are having a redonkulously good time watching the exciting NBA Finals games. It’s so neat to be able to experience a basketball…

Starbucks is one of the most progressive companies on planet earth. Everybody knows that, mainly because we tout it every chance we get. We’ve always been a bastion of liberal open-mindedness. We’ve bent over backwards to openly celebrate…

Hey fam, hope things are going well down there. It’s me, David, King of Israel, the one through whom God promised a Messiah to save His people from their sins. Well, I’ll cut right to it: just wanted to drop a brief note asking you people…

Fellow Americans: we want to take a quick moment of your time to apologize. You probably heard that we just passed a huge spending deal—and it looks like we totally forgot to defund Planned Parenthood again, even though we promised you…