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LAUSANNE, SWITZERLAND—Gearing up for the Tokyo Games after a yearlong delay due to Covid-19, a group of gasping, out-of-shape athletes representing a variety of different sports reportedly pleaded with the International Olympic Committee…

WASHINGTON—Unable to help himself from fearing the worst, Rep. French Hill (R-AR) reportedly mumbled, “Oh God, what happened now,”Friday after seeing he had received a massive donation from the NRA. “Jeez, that’s a lot of money, it’s got…