pandemic

OTTAWA – A third booster shot of the COVID-19 vaccine has been approved by Health Canada for use on all sheeple and government simps over the age of 18. “At this time the booster is recommended for all sheeple and government simps over…

WATERLOO, ON – A local group of friends who all met working at a Second Cup in 2015 have been meaning to have a Zoom catchup since the beginning of the pandemic, and have now rescheduled for the 86th week in a row. “We’re gonna do it…

LOUISVILLE, KY- Despite pleas to reconsider his stance by his family and veterinarian, local farm horse Mr. Clip Clop has thrown away his prescribed ivermectin and is using doses of COVID-19 vaccinations to treat his worm problem. “I first…

OTTAWA – Pfizer and BioNTech have released preliminary data to Health Canada stating that a vaccine for children ages 5 to 11 years could be available sooner than originally thought. Side effects of this, of course, would mean you might…

OTTAWA – Following a recent census, Health Canada has determined the sole source of vaccine hesitancy comes from an adverse reaction experienced by ‘friend’s, cousin’s, boyfriend’ or some similar rumour with three degrees of separation.…

Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh reportedly tested positive for COVID, raising the very important question: WHO CARES?! It apparently has to be said that testing positive for COVID is not in itself newsworthy. In particular if the…

Just eight months into Joe Biden’s presidency, it looks like most people have realized they’ve been had. His promise that he was the one they could trust to bring a swift end to the pandemic was a con. An Axios-Ipsos poll released Tuesday…

TORONTO – As the billions of relief dollars sent to Ontario by the federal government continue to sit unused, Doug Ford is promising all citizens that, when the time is right, he will spend the money on a big pizza party. “Sure I could use…

VICTORIA – With British Columbians now able to sign up for vaccine passports, local paralegal Craig Sherman is worried about how his shoulder will look in its passport photo. Sherman, who briefly skimmed a news article on the passports and…

Less than two days have passed since the U.S. Supreme Court declined a request to block the implementation of a law in Texas that protects unborn babies whose heartbeats can be detected. And already, the left has compared Texas to the…