pandemic

America wasn’t ready for a pandemic when the first confirmed case of the novel coronavirus landed on U.S. shores in January 2020, especially in terms of overall health. The national stockpile of medical supplies was full of outdated and…

NOTE: The author of this op-ed has requested to remain anonymous(But not because I’m not proud of my opinion, okay?) I am a man of principle. It’s important to stick up for what you believe and what I believe is freedom of choice. I have…

OTTAWA – Following the announcement that he has tested positive a second time for COVID-19, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau informed Canadians that this will unfortunately preempt the week he had planned to finally institute long-promised…

OTTAWA – In response to growing COVID-19 case numbers, Public Health Officials clarified that Canadians who have needed regular directions on how to properly wear a mask will continue to be trusted to correctly perform complex medical…

TORONTO – Pharmacies across Ontario are facing a shortage of cold-fighting household staples, and no one seems to be able to pinpoint the reason why. Across the province, residents are unable to get their hands on medicinal basics,…

TORONTO – The Delta and Omicron variants are reportedly upset that they had to deal with the provincial government’s rules and regulations, whereas the younger XE subvariant gets to run wild without any restrictions whatsoever. “The…

GENEVA – In a long expected admission by assembled health and safety representatives, citizens of countries across the world have been informed that we are all just going to have to endure regular, periodic outbreaks of Vladimir Putin. “At…

Uh oh! Your co-workers haven’t seen you in person since March of 2020, back when you were a hopeful idealist with a pep in her step and a contagious joie de vivre. Now you’re an empty shell only barely resembling a human being and you…

TORONTO – Grateful Canadians are gathering each evening to celebrate the conclusion of the deeply unpopular COVID-19 pandemic with the 7:00 pm launch of immunocompromised people from circus cannons. “Now that this nightmare’s finally over,…

VICTORIA, BC – After claiming to be experiencing higher than average call volume for a suspiciously long period of time during COVID-19, businesses are now reporting daily customer calls have dropped to “just average” levels. Consumers this…